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While I was away studying two summers ago, I had a fling with someone.
I need to write this account of what happened. Heaven knows it’s completely occupied my mind ever since. I guess it wouldn’t be overstating things to say that it’s consumed my life, leaving me just dazed and confused. As time has gone on, my confusion has become worse rather than better. I’m hoping by writing everything out I might be able to not only understand what happened, but why it happened, and why I did what I did. There was temptation and I succumbed.
Letting someone else have me was horribly wrong. I know that only too well. It was a terrible thing to do, considering I was married — and I love my husband very much. How could I have betrayed him so badly? I have to take full responsibility for that. I’ve always thought of myself as a person who is in control of her life. There are reasons why I found myself in bed with a person not my husband, but there can be no excuses. I had choices, and I succumbed in a moment of weakness. I have realized since that my downfall started many months earlier.
I’m five-five and have long red hair. Men really seem to love that. My red mane and creamy skin have always gotten me noticed. I guess I’m pretty because men always tell me that. So here I was taking my clothes off in front of someone I didn’t know all that well, which surprised me. I probably wouldn’t have done it eighteen months ago because at that point I was carrying about twenty-five extra pounds. My husband said he didn’t mind, but then he would say that, wouldn’t he?
So one day, looking at myself in our full-length mirror, I decided it was time to get serious about being in shape. It started with running, but eventually led to weightlifting (those dumbbell thingies) and other exercising, especially for my butt which seemed pretty flabby and in danger of becoming rather wide.
From all that work, I finally had a body I could be proud of. There was pretty well no “extra padding” on me anymore, and I was particularly proud of my hard tummy and the muscles on my arms and legs — and butt. The only unfortunate thing was that my breasts had gotten smaller. Still, they had long and very sensitive nipples. My husband loved those.
Regardless, as my weight went down and my muscle tone improved, men started really noticing, and not just at school where every male is horny. I could get chatted up wherever I went. One time after a concert this really good-looking older man (probably the father of a student) stopped me on the way out of the hall and told me how much he enjoyed watching me play.
We chatted a bit more and then he said it.
“All I could look at was your cello between your legs and wish that it was me. I know I’m way out of line, saying that, but, well, there it is. Want to join me for a drink?”
Of course, I scurried away thinking, What a pervert! But after a few days, my imagination took over and I wondered what it might have been like going with him that night. I was surprised how horny it got me. I’ve never masturbated a lot, but I did for a few weeks before the fantasy started to fade. It was sort of fun and naughty and gave me a charge even though I knew I would NEVER do something like that. Or so I thought…
A bit more background: My downfall took place while I was taking part in a summer program for advanced students where they brought in guest conductors, then we rehearsed for a week with them, and played a concert. The level was very high, the guest artists fantastic and inspiring — and the whole thing was free! All you had to do was get accepted into the program. I learned so much from taking part.
But it meant being away from my new husband (something we were both really not happy about) for two months. I was over the moon for the opportunity since the orchestra was professional-level and it was huge step forward for my career. Since my husband is also a musician, he did understand.
The days were hectic, filled with rehearsals and practicing. I was one of only four married people there, but the students’ ages ranged from one kid as young as sixteen to a couple of women who were two years older than I was (twenty-two at the time). We were all on two floors in the dorm which weren’t divided by gender. I was rooming with my friend Karen, an oboist I knew from university, but there were guys rooming on both sides of our room. It was sort of weird to walk down the hall to the showers, but I soon got used to it.
Right from the start, evenings (when we usually didn’t rehearse) were for partying. There was some alcohol, mostly beer, no drugs to speak of, but we all danced our asses off most nights, or sat and talked until all hours. I gravitated to a group of older students. It included all the married students where the guys and girls kept their distance at the start of the two months — but that didn’t last.
The atmosphere in the place became more and more sexually-charged as we all got to know each gölbaşı escort other and people paired off. Most everyone had boyfriends or girlfriends back home, but it didn’t seem to matter after awhile. I’ll admit that being without regular sex, plus being around all those out-of-control hormones added to my horniness, until I was sneaking back to my room nearly every night to play with myself under the covers in case Karen should come in unexpectedly.
About a week before the end of the program is when it happened. One single guy in our group, Claudio, didn’t seem as if he was always on the make. I believe he’d done it with one girl about halfway through the course, but she had to go home due to some family difficulties, so obviously, it didn’t last.
I have to be honest and admit I sort of did have the hots for Claudio all summer long, but I tried to keep everything cool. He seemed kind of interested in me, but I think that gold band around the finger on my left hand caused him to not act on his feelings. He was friendly, but never overtly came on to me, but you know how it is when someone has interest, you just pick up “that vibe”. Several times when I was wearing some particularly tight jeans, he and some of the guys wolf-whistled at me in a good-natured way. Since I’d spent the past year toning my body, I knew I looked good in them, and their response made me feel good about myself, but like I said, I stayed cool.
It didn’t help that Claudio was completely the type of male I find physically interesting: about six feet tall, wiry, dark hair, beautiful green eyes and nice full lips. He also had a ready smile, and though he obviously knew he was good-looking, he could also laugh at himself quite easily. I’d sometimes find myself staring at him without realizing it. He was friendly, too, and a very talented musician (violin). A couple of times we found a quiet room and played duets. Violin and cello do go so well together.
Talking with my husband, David, on the phone once or twice a week was hard on both of us. We missed each other so much, and being not that long married, we both really missed the sex. After those calls, I’d always be so hot that I’d have to rush back to the room to bring myself off — sometimes twice. He’d almost always ask if I was behaving myself. Until that last week, I could be 100% honest. If I was feeling playful, I’d tell him I needed to masturbate occasionally, knowing that always drives him nuts.
On the Saturday at the beginning of our last week, we’d just played our best concert yet, and since everyone was sort of manic about our success, the after-concert party was quite a blow-out. As things progressed, people were kissing openly on the dance floor or in dark corners, and I’ll bet there was a lot more going on that I didn’t notice!
About eleven o’clock, Claudio came over and asked if I wanted to dance. We’d danced a number of times before, but never with any regularity, and only for one or two slow tunes. That night, the very first dance was a slow one. Normally, I had kept some distance when dancing with other guys, but that night, my guard was down a bit, and I was more than a little horny. So I just let Claudio pull me in really tightly. He had his hands on my lower back, and I had mine over his shoulders as we swayed to the beat.
“I’m going to be sorry when next Saturday rolls around,” he said.
“I know what you mean. This summer has been fantastic.”
He brought his mouth closer to my ear. “That’s not what I meant. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. You’re such a passionate musician and a very beautiful woman.”
I turned my head up to look at him, and that’s when it happened. He instantly lowered his lips to mine, and without really thinking clearly about it, our lips met.
It was as if a spark leapt from his mouth to mine, and descended straight down my body to my groin. I instantly burst into sexual flames. I couldn’t control my response, couldn’t hold back. Our kisses deepened, tongues moving together feverishly and I felt Claudio’s hands cupping my ass, pulling me into him. In a corner of my mind, I was freaking out that this was happening, but I seemed powerless to tell him no, that I was married and should not be doing this! That’s what weeks of no sex will do, I suppose.
We continued to kiss as the song went on. I dropped my hands to Claudio’s waist and he continued kneading my buns.
When our kiss broke for a moment, he said into my ear again, “You have such a beautiful ass, I’ve wanted to hold it like this all summer.”
My answer was to kiss him again, with more passion than ever. I knew I should have turned and run, but Claudio’s hot kisses were doing really affecting me. All the pent up erotic heat of a summer spent in such a sexually-charged atmosphere just erupted with that first meeting of our lips.
Too soon the song ended and the next one was fast, so the immediate danger faded a bit. Part of me keçiören escort desperately wanted another slow one because I’d been enjoying rubbing myself against this man’s very obvious and ample erection. Another part of me realized it was for the best, because I was clearly in danger of doing something I’d most heartily regret in the cold light of day. It was bad enough that I’d been kissing Claudio with such obvious passion. (Not that anyone probably noticed since the lights were low and everyone around us seemed to be making out.)
The new tune was one of those really funky ones made for letting yourself go. Claudio was a wonderful dancer and we easily slid into an easy groove together. Staring into each other’s eyes, it was obvious what was still smoldering between us. He took my waist in both hands and we began to move in unison. When he turned me around, I pressed backwards and could feel his erection against my rear end. His hands slid up from my waist to near the side of my breasts. If he’d moved them even slightly forward they would have been on them. I should have firmly moved them back where they belonged, but my pulse was racing again and I actually felt sort of faint when I realized I wanted to feel his touch.
It’s not like there hadn’t been a lot of “dirty dancing” that summer, but I also knew that sooner or later someone couldn’t fail to see Claudio and me going at it. With a week left in the program, word would spread around the place like wildfire since I was one of the few married students. Also, some of the guys had been hitting on me in a sort of oblique way I believed, and they’d certainly be interested that Claudio seemed to be on the verge of getting lucky. All those things passed through my mind as the song ended.
I fanned myself with my hand and laughed. Even to my ears it sounded strained. I could feel my face burning, a reflection of the fire inside me. “Wow, it’s pretty hot in here tonight.”
“Why don’t we go outside for some fresh air?” Claudio asked.
Decision time. I could have easily said no and begged off, telling him I was tired. But if I’m going to be perfectly honest, I’d have to say that I didn’t want to.
I kept my head enough to tell Claudio that I should go out first and he could meet me in ten minutes at the sundial in the center of the large garden around the back of the building. I thought I could use the time to decide if I really wanted to do what we both knew could certainly come next.
Outside, the cool night air of the mountains brought some clarity to my addled brain. Being truthful, I admitted that I really wanted to go farther with Claudio. Part of it was sheer horniness at being without my husband for nearly two months, part of it was that electricity that had shot between us during that first kiss (and Claudio is a handsome devil!), but another part was that I could feel his erection as we’d been bumping and grinding. The fact that I was turning someone on was adding to my horniness. His penis had felt rather large, too.
More confession time. I had a camp job I had five years ago and found only my second real boyfriend there, the other head counselor. We hooked up quickly and by halfway through the summer, I was pretty thoroughly in love with him. John and I got intimate, but I drew the line at intercourse, since I was not on the pill and petrified of getting pregnant. We did fool around a lot, though, nearly every night after the kids had been put to bed. We also spent a weekend at his parents’ cottage. I’ll never forget that! I came very close to losing my virginity that weekend. I didn’t trust them, but if John had brought condoms, I would have let him take me. John wasn’t all that much longer than my husband, but he was much bigger around. Frankly, I’ve always wondered what having something that fat up inside me would feel like. While we came very close (he was on top of me and I could feel his penis poking at my opening), at the last possible minute, I pulled back from the precipice.
Anyway, from my only boyfriend back in high school, I knew guys could be mollified by jerking them off, so I did that to John most nights we had heavy make-out sessions. A little hand cream tube stuffed in my jeans pocket and I was good to go. John had a lovely dick and I enjoyed playing with him — a lot. During that weekend at his family’s cottage, I really wanted to let him in, but didn’t dare. What I did, though, was give him a blowjob, my first time doing that. It sent him into orbit, and once I got my head wrapped around actually doing something like that, I found I really enjoyed it, too. I even found swallowing what came out not too bad.
Though I was inexperienced, I got the hang of it quickly. I did it to him several more times that summer before we headed off to different universities for our freshman years, and eventually our relationship petered out. Funny thing was, I’d gotten myself on the pill at the student health clinic and ankara escort was ready to give myself to him completely when he sent me a letter explaining that he’d gotten back together with his old girlfriend. Eventually, I let myself get dragged to an end-of-year party, got a bit drunk, went home with some guy I’d met, and finally lost my cherry. The actual event was pretty disappointing. The guy had no idea what he was doing and lasted about thirty seconds. He also was rather small.
Then I met David, my future husband, and boy, did he teach me a lot! The first night we were intimate (pretty soon into our relationship), he licked me to two fantastic orgasms. I knew about that, of course, but neither of my previous boyfriends had ever offered to do it. If John had, I probably would have let him do anything to me, condom or no condom!
All of this background is by way of saying that my plan was to meet with Claudio, make out some more (he was a great kisser!), and maybe we could each satisfy the other by some mutual masturbation or even oral sex.
That was a long ten minutes, and if Claudio hadn’t been so prompt, I probably would have gone back inside to bed — alone. But there he was, walking down one of the paths to where I was waiting by the sundial in the middle of a large garden. He stopped right in front of me.
“Claudio,” I began.
“I know what you’re going to say, Jill. We shouldn’t be doing this. You’re married.”
I simply nodded, surprisingly disappointed.
“Something happened back at the dance,” he continued, “something in that first wonderful kiss we shared.”
“You felt it, too?”
“Oh, yes. I will never forget that kiss as long as I live.” He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. “Kiss me like that again.”
He was again gripping my ass, pulling my lower body hard against him, and I ground shamelessly against his erection as our lips and tongues danced together.
My brain wasn’t too fogged yet. After a minute or two, I pulled away. “We should find someplace more private. Anybody could come along.”
Claudio smiled wryly. “I told my roommate that I might need to use our room for an hour or two this evening. Don’t worry, he’ll keep his mouth shut.” Then he looked at me seriously. “I’d really love to be alone with you.”
If he hadn’t asked like that, I might not have gone through with it. But I was pleased he was concerned enough about my reputation to have asked. I was aware there was a good chance I was being played a bit, but I felt I could trust him.
“As long as you’re sure he won’t blab,” I answered. “Then, yes, I will go to your room with you.”
“We should take the back stairs up separately. Since there might be people making out on the stairway, I’ll go first and you follow a few minutes later. It’s the first door on the left.” (As if I didn’t already know.)
I slipped into Claudio’s room five minutes later. (There had been two couples making out on the stairs, and that had only made me hornier.) Only the light over one bed was on. I was shaking with nerves, frightened by what was happening, but by then I just had to get some relief. A good cum by someone else’s hand (or mouth!) would feel so good after two months in this sexual hothouse.
Claudio had been sitting on the other bed, and suddenly feeling very shy, I stood with the closed door just behind me. He got up and plastered me against it. The heat from his body was incredible as we kissed furiously. I was completely consumed by lust almost instantly, and wrapping my left leg around his right, I shamelessly humped myself against him. For the first time I really understood what the term “in heat” means. My panties already felt sodden. And when I looked down a bit later, there was actually a wet spot on my jeans down between my legs.
We pulled apart enough to get at our clothes. Claudio pulled off my t-shirt, then I reached behind to unfasten my bra. He was instantly at my breasts. My nipples were so hard they hurt, but his hands on my breasts, teasing and pulling on the nipples had me on fire. I returned his kisses fiercely and eventually, one of his hands dropped down between my legs. His firm rubbing felt so damn good! Without thinking, I reached out with one hand to rub his cock through his jeans, using the other to steady myself against the door. His erection was enormous and very hard as I traced its length, nearly reaching the top of his jeans before I found the end of it.
It was time to tell him I really didn’t want to make love — but that moment passed and I didn’t.
Before I could stop him, Claudio unsnapped my jeans and lowered the zipper. In a flash his hand was inside, snaking down into my panties. It felt heavenly as one finger traced between my drenched lips.
“You’re very, very wet.”
Now was the time to tell him. I groaned. “Claudio, I—”
He silenced me with another lustful kiss. I felt my control drifting further away.
I couldn’t help myself. Using both hands, I loosened Claudio’s belt and opened his jeans, moving them down his slim hips a few inches. Reaching inside his briefs, I touched his erection. Oh my God! It was so hard and hot — and HUGE! I could barely wrap my hand around it and I have pretty long fingers.
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